Are you surprised at how much your life has changed, now that your baby is here?

You were so excited to be a Mom. You couldn’t wait! You pictured happiness, cooing sounds and sweet baby smells.

But the reality is more about crying, dirty diapers and interrupted sleep. You’re exhausted, drained, short-tempered and maybe a bit depressed.

You might be finding your partner more irritating. “Why can’t he just put his sh@% away?”  You’re not feeling on the same team. You feel like you’re pulling more of the weight. You’re feeling more and more disconnected from him and you’re starting to think he might actually be avoiding coming home from work, because he doesn’t want to deal with you!

Your days feel so monotonous, like the Groundhog Day movie. And you wonder how nothing ever seems to get done, since you feel so busy all the time. You’re convinced that the laundry and dishes must be reproducing on their own, because there’s an endless, never-ending supply of them.  

You’re feeling sad, angry and resentful, because you thought this was going to be the most enjoyable time of your life.

So you’re thinking this is just the way it’s got to be. You’re realizing this is just your new reality and that you’ll have to learn to deal with it. And you’re hoping and praying that life and your relationship will get better and “back to normal” AFTER your child gets older.

You are so not alone in feeling this way! You’re completely normal.

Way too many couples feel dissatisfied. In fact, research shows that over 70% of couples are unhappy in that first year after their baby is born. Wow!

And this statistic was evident in both my professional and personal experience.

When I had my son, it never dawned on me that it would impact our marriage. Yes, that’s right! A licensed marriage and family therapist was clueless in thinking that adding a new person to her family would not be impactful. J 

You see, I knew my husband and I had a great marriage.  We are both good communicators, we’re real patient, we’re both helpful around the house, and be both had good paying, fulfilling jobs.  What’s to cause problems, right? 

Enter our son…. With that bundle of joy, came sleep deprivation, resurfacing of family issues and old patterns, and decreased intimacy!  Seriously, it still amazes me how such tiny little babies can throw a rather stable household into complete turmoil.

Even though it’s so common, it doesn’t have to be like this!

I know you’ve probably talked with your friends with kids and they’ve told you that marriage kind of sucks after children. They might complain about their spouse a lot. They say that this is just how things are going to be, so they welcome you to the “Unhappy Married Club.”

And your Mom might not be any better in offering constructive help. She might be taking this opportunity to point out that she always knew that he wasn’t the right partner for you. Or, she’s reminding you how she had it so much harder when she was raising you, so she doesn’t see what you have to complain about.

But I’m here to tell you different.

I’m here to encourage you, because you can {and you both deserve} to have a life with your spouse and your baby that’s as enjoyable, if not MORE enjoyable, than before.  You and your partner can become closer and more connected than you were before your baby was even born. Seriously!

Most importantly, you can learn how to do this in a way that’s natural and fun for you. Say goodbye to FRUSTRATION and OVERWHELM!

Because what’s the point of raising an AWESOME kid, only to have your relationship crumble? You don’t have to be another statistic!

Let me help.

There’s no greater joy than when I can help an amazing couple move from overwhelm, exhaustion and unhappiness and move them to a place of joy, connection and feeling supported.

What if...

Instead of feeling a lack of support, how about you start feeling part of the same, unstoppable team?

Imagine having the skills to communicate with each other in a way where you both feel supported, heard and where you can work through minor issues and annoyances, before they become big problems.

Instead of feeling totally drained and like you’re “giving, giving, giving” to the point of completely giving out, how about you both take time for yourselves for enjoyable self-care?

Imagine being able to identify the “signs of neglect” for both yourself and your spouse. And imagine respecting and carving out time for each other to “fill your own buckets,” so you can come back to the relationship as a better spouse and parent, more refreshed and resilient.

Instead of wondering if your emotions and moments of depression are normal, how about learning how to embrace your “new normal” and realizing they’re just part of the parenting/relationship process?

Imagine being able to identify your different moods and knowing concrete actions you can take to move through them and to better support each other emotionally.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed with running a household and feeling resentful about who’s carrying the majority of the load, how about getting clear on a family routine that works for you both?

Imagine being clear on what’s important and what’s not. Imagine knowing who will do what, acting as a team, and having the skills to communicate when one spouse is feeling stressed and needing some extra help.

Instead of feeling “mommy guilt,” comparing yourself to other Moms and feeling inadequate, how about learning how to hush that “negative voice” in your head.

Imagine not needing to compare yourself to others. Imagine growing into the Mom and wife that YOU want to become, with joy, peace and happiness.

And instead of feeling insecure about your new post-baby body and not having a healthy sex life, how about learning how to make your intimate relationship a priority?

Imagine finding ways to meet each other’s needs of feeling loved and connected, amidst the reality of a busier life. Imagine feeling more loved than ever before!

Do you want to talk first? Do you have some questions?

I’m offering a complimentary, 30-minute, no-obligation “Relationship Reboot” phone session.

Let’s build an awesome vision for your relationship, that includes who are you are as parents and who you are as a spouse. Let’s talk about what’s working and what’s not.

I’ll give you some honest thoughts on what I’m seeing in your relationship and how you can start changing things for the better.